Episode 06: What We’ve Changed Our Minds About
So originally we were gonna call this episode “What We Were Wrong About” but then we realised we’re grown women who are allowed to change our minds!
First up is Mel with her revelation about olives in Italy. Also she learns that capers are not seafood while on the episode and it suddenly opens a whole new world of Nigella Lawson episodes for her.
Mel mentions a book she reads with her daughter about little kids getting ready for the day around the world called This Is How We Do It.
Gabby shares about how Alison Roman changed her mind about dill and how pine nuts come from actual pines.
Also, never forget: there’s always time to toast your pine nuts before you eat them.
We talk about going on holiday without traveling and how we’ve decided it’s actually way more fun than we originally thought.
Then Gabby goes on a rant about when she thinks everyone should take their Christmas decorations down.
On a more serious note, Mel talks about how she has stopped weighing in on every issue she comes across the internet. She shares three questions she asks herself “Does it need to be said? Does it need to be said now? Does it need to be said by ME?”
Gabby talks about she views feminism and how she’s changed her mind about verses in the Bible that on the surface seem to go against the flourishing of women.
We talk briefly about parenting and how we’re constantly changing our minds about parenting.
Thanks for tuning in this week!
>>> Click here to read the computer generated transcript (note the transcript isn't perfect)
Hi, and welcome to the making an effort podcast with Gabby and Mel. This week, we are talking about things. We have changed our minds about, Hey, everybody. Um, alternate title, alternate title was, I was super wrong about this, but we've decided to actually, instead of giving it that connotation of we were wrong, we are going to talk about things that we have changed our minds about over the last number of years.
And. Maybe even talk about why it's important. That that's the thing, you know? Yeah. We don't need that kind of wrong energy. No here. No, no, no. Especially if you change your minds because I don't like to be wrong. Oh no, no. It's not my favorite. I'm often wrong, but I'm never wrong. Yes. I'm never, ever, ever wrong.
You know, I get that vibe from you for sure. I hear it a lot. I hear it a lot. Uh, we're just kidding. But we do really want to talk about, um, this whole idea of, you know, change in our minds and from trivial things to bigger things. It's kind of our vibe anyway. Um, we're going to talk about that. So I'm going to go ahead.
And start because I want to tell you that I have changed my mind a byte olives. Oh, wow. Okay. My first one's a food went to talk to me through, through your olive journey. Well, all was what was it for you? Was it like an olive in a martini or a top of nod? Like what brought you around to the light? You know what it was, it was going to Italy.
That's what it was. Oh, yeah, I know. That makes sense. Yeah. And you know what? I think all of them they're super like you're either pro olive or you're like auntie olive and it's a very, they're very strong camps. Aren't they? Sorry, Antioch Chris Hans. And who is anti Allah. That's why I like really like made me chuckle as well as my mom.
especially if you're from Northern Ireland. No, but Chris, Chris hates olives too. And it's like, not as something, not his auntie, but, but no heat. He hates all soul lives. And like anything that kind of like briny, like he likes pickles. That's fine. But like, doesn't like, um, Oh gosh, what are they called?
Capers. So like, I don't see. I don't. Taste them that way. They're not fish that are fish. They're not fish. They're like a, they're a plant. What's a keeper is like a briny salty. And I don't know. I think it might, maybe it is like a, maybe it is a plant from a sea, but it's not a fish, but like when I have favorite meals is chicken piccata.
And I can never have to have it because it's like chicken in this like caper, buttery, white wine sauce. And it's so good. Are you telling me right now that keepers are not fish because I am going to look it up. Okay. If I'm wrong. What you're not wrong. Oh my goodness. This is world changing for me. I thought they were fish.
They're not, you still might not like them. If you don't like olives or if you used to know, do you love all of us, but I've always veered away from a camper because I thought they were fish. Why did I think this? Oh, I think cause they show up with fishy things. Sometimes they do. This is a whole new world.
This is amazing. Oh, my goodness. There's so many Nigella Lawson recipes that call for campers. And I always leave them out because they're like gross little fish eggs. You're like, I don't want caviar on this. It just tells you like exactly the level of fancy that I, Oh my gosh. I mean, I can't touch caviar.
I've only been served. It. So when I, okay. Very brief sidebar, I did a study abroad in high school and in Russia and for like one week of our time there, we were like in St. Petersburg, not a super old by the way, but that's because you lived as super as Pakistan abroad. No. Well, I was living in the States at the time.
Oh, I, yes. I studied Russian through high school and college. So very like in the zone, in the Russian zone, but they served us for breakfast. It was like Brown, thick, like toast. With, uh, with very cheap caviar and sour cream and dill. And I was like, I can't go there at 8:00 AM in the morning. Shit. I can never really have caviar because I'm not that classy.
Uh, but yeah, it was, that was my, I remember just like seeing it on toast and feeling like. Yeah, that's not, it's not what you feed a 16. It isn't. No, it's not, but Genoa. Um, my daughter has this book. Oh, what is it called? I'll have to look it up and I'll put it in the show notes, but it is an absolutely beautiful book and it follows the story of like, Six or seven children from around the world on their journey to school and go into their school.
And like, so it tells you what they, where they live and what their family is like and what they, and it's beautifully illustrated. And it has a kid from, I'm pretty sure from Russia and, and that's. That blew her little mind when she saw that they would eat like fish for breakfast. She was just like, what?
Um, yeah. Uh, yeah, so I blew my little mind as well. I was like, I can't do that, but I'll tell you what the waffles. I think that if we are gonna talk about food, On the same van. I believe that I've also changed my mind about what is appropriate at mealtime food. Well, do you know what I mean? As in like, I know exactly what you're talking about and like, I don't want you to confine me to only be able to have cereal toast, eggs, like porridge in the morning.
Like, I, I have changed my mind about. I'm wanting to eat. I don't know, like, if you want dinner, eggs, you should be able to have dinner, eggs, like not even their X, right? Yeah. Right. Or about the rules about what is appropriate to eat at each meal, breakfast, popcorn. Yeah. Breakfast walking. I'm going to patent that you should patent that.
And, but yeah, all us was a big one going to Italy, eating them. Like, I guess somebody told me that your taste buds change every seven years or something like that. And I will believe any kind of thing that tells me that I will believe it, even if it's not true, I'm just like, all right, we can change. So I think my friend, the stale.
Because she had lived in Italy and she knew their issues. Like you will like these, you will, they've got their drenched in all of oil and lemon and garlic. And I was like, all right, give it to me. And I think just being, it was like on the Amalfi coast. Oh, I know. So I think it was definitely the setting that helped.
And then I carried it with me. And so you could eat olives and other settings as well. It's interchangeable now. Well, I mean, I think it's not always a given, you know, maybe, I dunno. Could you eat fish with sour cream and still in Tennessee, maybe for lunch? I don't know. Well, I couldn't eat it in Russia, so, Hm.
Okay. It's not looking good. It's not fair enough. Right. What's your food thing that you've changed your mind about? Okay. So the one that I wrote down is Dell. I have a real love, hate relationship with it. So I used to like, anytime it was like in a salad or. Even on a menu, I'd be like, could you like leave the Dell out from this dish please?
Um, I was that person. And then, uh, my journey is a strong flavor is, and it's like kinda licoricey and a CD. Right. Am I thinking of fennel? . Yeah, it's got like similar vibes, same family in my head, and I hate licorice flavored anything to you. Um, I really, really cannot not like channel. I L I like, as that's one of those things, like as an adult, I have incorporated more fennel into my life, but like, The candy licorice like that kind of rumor?
No, no. Like the black licorice, would you eat? Like, would you eat like a red licorice? No. Cause it's not licoricey. No, but a, no, I know like a Twizzler. I know what you're talking about. Don't eat those. I like those. Cause they're basically the tastes like strawberry. Right now. I don't know. There's something about it.
I know what you may know. Like Russia is a strong as a strong, I haven't changed my mind about that one, but I have changed my mind about dill and mostly in large part to, uh, the cooking endeavors of Alison Roman, who put still on everything that she, um, yeah, but like in a really good way. I don't know. I think when it's like, really like when it's paired with like, Savory creamy, salty.
Like it just all starts tasting really good. So, yeah. I also feel like with stuff like Dell, um, it's a, it's a garnish that just looks amazing, right? Like chunk that Adele on hold really sprinkled on top. And I feel like it might be that I've changed my mind on this, but I feel like a garnish. Has become a much more important thing for me, like eating out less.
So we have to garnish our own food and make it, yeah. Look appetizer. My friend, Kat always says like, you always have time to toast. The nuts for your salad. Come on. Yeah, that's a word. Yeah. Yeah. She's just, she's really feels strongly about it. She's like that you always have time to put a few pine nuts in a frying pan and toast them up and you will never regret doing that and she's ready.
It's true. It's true. You're worth toasted pine nuts. I know it's because they're amazing. What's up though. Have you seen the price of pine nuts? Okay. Uh, randomly another Russia story. The first time I had a pine that was in Russia and like, literally my host family gave me a pine cone and they were like, here, eat this.
And I was like, what? Hey. And like you literally peel back the little, um, like off a tree, a little leaves. Yeah. Like the little leaves off of a pine cone. And you eat the pine nut inside of it. What? It's just no word of a lie where they come from. Where do pine nuts come from? I want to say, unless I just like made it, did you make it up to make yourself feel better about all the other PTSD that's come from pine cones, only 20 varieties of pine tree in the world produced cones, large enough for pine nuts for harvesting.
So that's why they're so expensive, but this is quite rare. Sometimes I go in to like, cause I. That's one of the things that I have to have, you know, we've talked about this before about having to have certain things in the Palm tree or the like store, just everything in your pantry. That's me. Yes. Yeah.
You know, that is you, you maximalist pine pine nuts is one for me because I just feel like they make pretty much every meal better. Um, like they are a bite for pine for a pocket, like a small packet. It's really, there is no. It really is. Well, now that we spend 15 minutes talking about Dale olives, that is not the time.
No, it wasn't. I feel like we have, we've learned so much half of my it's been, it's been a journey. You guys, you guys are super welcome. And I think something else that I have changed my mind about is. Holidays at home. Oh, okay. So maybe not necessarily at my home because, but like staying in the country, particularly because ours is a small country, but I think I used to turn my nose up without a way, but, you know, and just be like, no, we've got to get away.
We've got to like, you've got to get on. Um, like a moving, like some sort of transportation that is not a car in order to be on holiday. And I've changed my mind about that. Yeah. I think it's just, I am much more interested in the hassle free holiday of being close to home or well, on the Island of Ireland in some way.
Well, We all spend our whole lives, trying to get to your Island for our holidays here in the States. So HERSA, my sister has a trip to Nashville for next year or this year. Yeah, for her 40th birthday. Yeah. She's going to Vegas. Uh, Nashville. Her husband's big into music. Okay. Okay. Well then that's a good reason.
The people who are like not into country music, not into music and come to Nashville for vacation. I'm like, why really? Like we have, I mean, we've got some good restaurants, you know, whatever, but like the big draw is the music. Isn't it like the big, yeah. If you're picking any city in the U S to go to and you don't like music.
Then go somewhere else. That's my 2 cents. Uh, yeah, unless you have like something very Nashville specific. You want to see? Just go somewhere else. Sorry. Nashville, tourism board. I mean, Tennessee is beautiful. No, it's fine. Yeah. We have to drive like. 45 minutes to an hour outside of the study just to see anything.
Oh, really? But that's like, it's not like it's in the state. Like it's still in Tennessee. That's true. Just wipe that. Come on, Gabby. I, I think Knoxville is way more beautiful than Tennessee. It's like in the Appalachian mountains, Appalachian. What a, however, you're supposed to say that nowadays. And. Um, it's just so gorgeous.
Like the S the town is like, has most of its older buildings still intact, and there's like this beautiful river that goes through it. And where's this yeah, it's in Tennessee. It's like two hours outside of Nashville. Um, and it is great for antiquing. Uh, but no, I totally agree with you. I think that especially, I mean, maybe not, especially when you're a mom, I feel like that transition happened for me after I became a mom though, where I'm like part of the rest is not being on a plane with my child, true of a holiday.
Like if there is a version of this that I can do where we can just like later that day be where we need to be. And it's not hard. That's the rest I'm looking for. Yeah. With kids. And B is like, there are a lot of strong opinions on whether you should travel with kids when they're small and I absolutely are there.
I think so. Yeah. Well, I think some people are just like, you should absolutely do that. It's really good for kids to like travel and build that. Travel muscle of change and different cultures. And of course, all of that is so brilliant. But what we have also realized that being on holiday with kids is very much the same as being at home.
You're still just looking for the chicken nuggets everywhere you go. Like it's like, yeah. Yeah. If I'm going to spend my whole life trekking around this place, looking for chicken nuggets or French fries, I might as well do that somewhere else. Yeah. It's easier to get to. It's a nice about for us. It's always been like, okay, we want to go somewhere that everybody gets everybody.
Kind of can get what they need from this, this trip. So whether that's some sort of like a pool for the kids just want to swim, like that's what they want. They want a pool or a beach or whatever. I'm more of a city girl. Like I love, um, I need there to be a market as what I need. Of a holiday. That's like my one requirement is it can't be too hot and there has to be some sort of market that I can stumble across, you know, or also heavily research.
Um, but yeah, so holidays, but holidays at home are definitely failing and probably, you know, a fallout from this last year. Just way more appealing in so many ways. I've changed my mind about the snobbery, I think of needing to go on a holiday away. Hmm. Okay. I respect that. And I'm totally on the same page with you.
Uh, the other, like little thing that I've changed my mind about is when you take your holiday decorations down. So I used to be a strictly after new year's person. I would say strictly, I would start working up the courage to do it after the new year. And now I'm like day after Christmas, everything must be gone.
It won't be a new year unless my house is like tidy. Um, and I am like hardcore judgment like this year. I don't know what has happened to me. Like. I went from being like super laid back, like leaving the twinkle lights up for as long as possible to hardcore judging my neighbors for having a wreath on their door.
On January 5th. I still have my rifle at my door. Okay. I'm judging you tune in to now pass for, you know, uh, uh, lady Elliot, winter race. That's different. It could be, and I fail it that judgment. So don't you can't backtrack. It's fine. Well, I am judging a little bit. It's like, I drove past the house last night and like looked in the window and they had their Christmas tree out.
They had the lights on the tree. It wasn't like, they just like, I mean, I suppose if you're going to like move out of your tree up, you might as well turn the lights on, but still I was like, it's almost Valentine's day guys. Well, we all know that's a real holiday. You have got to get your heart Garland soon.
So no, I feel like you would rather die than have a heart Garland. I literally can't picture it. Your lead. I think that's the truest thing anyone has ever said. I mean, you would rather die than have a heart Garland and I, my daughter is. So, and all the techie shit of the day, and it is just some sort of experiment in, um, and I mean the universe teaching me something, I think, but she loves everything tacky.
That's amazing. I need to just. So going to have to train, train her in those minimalist ways. It's just not possible. Or she'll just rebel. I know this is the show like you do. My mom never allowed color in my life. She'll be telling her therapist some days she'd be like, I think that's why I love purple and beyond.
I chose to, she made me aware of cinema, a cinnamon color. All the time,
everything was a shade of clothes.
Oh gosh. So funny. And it's so true and it's so painful. I mean yeah. Your house, your rules. That's true. That's true. Okay. Stuff. Luck kid. That's fair enough though. But the holiday decorations, I definitely, I'm definitely on board. With you on that one? I just don't think it's okay. Um, sorry if, if, if you still have your tree up, guys, this is consider this year reminder that it's now it's time to move on.
Yeah, yeah. For me, it's just too much stuff. That's too much stuff I'm going to go serious. So we bet. Well, me. Yeah. Okay. So something that I've changed my mind about. Is feeling like I need to weigh in or tackle every issue that I disagree with, that I see on Facebook. Hmm. Okay. I feel like this really requires like a, a, an origin story.
Ooh, I don't know. I don't know. Does it not? Does it not have one? I don't think it has one. Yeah. I think it more, more or less, uh, is. I don't know. I think one of the, I heard something recently, or maybe I saw something like a, a quote or whatever, but it said, does it need to be said, does it need to be said no.
And does it need to be said by me? And I think about that all the time. That's amazing. It doesn't need to be said. Does it need to be said no. And does it need to be set by me? And I just think the thing about it is he can disagree with so many things or Genoa even like yeah, even things you don't disagree on, or you just like want to give an opinion on, but then you have to like, Follow up.
You'll get notifications about that saying from every Tom Dick and Harry who also wants to chime in, and then you're now you're right in the pit of it. And that's, I don't want to be in the pet of army thing, you know? Yeah. So protect your peace. So that's a lot to say about that is. I think I used to be like, Oh, it's this, the thing here is right in front of me on my screen.
And I think that I will tell people what I think about it, because quite clearly, that's. What we're supposed to do, but now I'm just like, Oh no, absolutely not. Unless it's like, you know, something entirely, I don't know. I'm not trying to think of what the boundary would be. And I don't, I don't even know if I would tackle it publicly.
Yeah. I do feel like though that list of prompt prompts really imagines a very self-aware person. Yeah. Yeah. It does. Yeah. Like I I'm just realizing I'm like, I don't even think I'm that self-aware most of the time. So it's, that's something for me to work on for sure. Okay. My serious thing go feminism.
You're not a feminist anymore. You've changed your mind. I've decided I'm going back to the fifties now. Just like, forget it. It's like we've done it. It's like every much worse. Nobody cares anymore. Vice-president job done. This job has done. There's no more glass ceiling. No. So, uh, very, very brief backstory about me.
I was raised Christian and I, I, to this day, identify as Christian, but if you aren't familiar with the Christian faith, there are verses in the Bible. Or parts of the Bible that talk about, uh, how women should submit to men and all this other good stuff. So those verses, I think, um, obviously like very much informed how I was raised because, you know, good Christians don't question, that kind of stuff.
Um, and then I got older and realized that there are a lot of different ways you could interpret those parts of the Bible. Um, And because I'm still a Christian. I still very much believe that, that I just don't think that God has any interest in snuffing or like suppressing people or oppressing people or, um, uh, putting people in a hierarchy.
Um, and so I've definitely interpret those parts of the Bible differently than I think a lot of people do. Um, and that has been a very defining part of my adulthood journey and like something that I've changed my mind about because, um, it's not very popular in the, in the Christian world. Um, and I know it causes a lot of people to question the authenticity of my faith.
Um, and so, yeah, that's a big one. It's a big one. I don't know. It's a big one. I'm on board as well, entirely, you know, anything that goes against the, the freedom and flourishing of, uh, of a human being, um, which is just not up for debate for me. Yeah. You know, uh, same I, yeah, same 100%. So that's a big one that I've changed my mind on and a whole list that I don't think we can get into, but yeah, let's hear it.
I'm going to read them off and maybe they can come up and podcasts again. I've changed my mind about running. Wow. But you still hate it. Yeah, but I've changed my mind about it. Cause it feels so good when I'm done. So I get. I get it right. Okay. Change my mind. Bite to death.
Oh, you didn't think I was going to go there? Oh my gosh. I'm really, can we have part two of this Africa just for this. Hands up. If you guys click like share, if you want us to do custom suit on death, I actually think death is one of the things that we don't talk about enough. Um, yeah, and I, um, I love talking about it, but I've changed my mind about a bunch of stuff around it.
I've changed my mind about Oh, parenting in lots of ways. Yeah. I'm always changing my mind about parenting. When you're raising a child with special needs, you have to change your mind about parenting every day. Yeah. I, that I, I stopped reading parenting books cause they just make me feel like crap. And I'm like, this doesn't apply to me.
This isn't my situation. I don't need you telling me how to, you know, Uh, live a peaceful, organic, simple life with like really healthy boundaries when we just don't live in the same way. Yeah. The goalposts are so different there. It's just unfair. It's so good that you said that actually, I think that's really important for people to hear.
That's not. Yeah. I just think parenting is not prescriptive. Um, and anyway, um, because children are all different and. And the people that parent them are all different, like exactly. And the dynamics we create within all of that will be super different. So anyway, those are some, those are some things, um, that I have definitely changed my mind on.
Do you have any more to add? So I really just very briefly, it was like, Minimalism. We have a whole podcast about how I changed my mind about that. So I'm not even going to get into that, uh, going on walks. I used to think that they didn't do anything for your health. And now I'm like, Oh no, they're like non-negotiable.
Um, and skincare, which I used to do nothing like literally nothing like sleep with my makeup on, and now I. It doesn't matter how tired I am or what else has happened. I have to wash my face before bed. Um, And do very bare minimum maintenance. Otherwise I feel like a monster and it makes such a Dick. Oh, massively max, the deference, you see the, like the, yeah, the, even just the routine of doing it is such a good signal to your body that like, okay, when we do this, it's getting close to the time when you're going to get to do nothing for a bunch of ours.
Also subcategory of this sunscreen. I used to not wear sunscreen until a year and a half ago, unless it was like already in my product, like foundation. Right. But. Now I wear sunscreen and my skin has literally never been better. I don't wear sunscreen. You say I've been, I've been doing that whole. I mean, we don't get a lot of sun and I know it's not, that's not the point.
I know that's not the point. And my friend brace will absolutely burry at me about this. Cause she's, especially because I've just started using a slight acid. I think it's just. Tiny bit of acid. She's like, you need to wear a sunscreen. You actually do that alone.
Oh, I like there's, there's a 25 SPF and my tinted moisturizer. She's like, that's not enough. That is not enough. Um, and she's right. I just worry about adding more products to my fierce. Sometimes I'm just a bit like, Oh, I mean, if you're going to add anything, let it be sunscreen. All right. For an 80 year old, you will.
Thank you. I think so. I do because you won't have sunspots and you won't have, you know, like more like higher risk of cancer, like all of that stuff. All right. Gabby up sick. All right. Just say it. All I know is that I didn't wear sunscreen when I was pregnant with Danny and it was like out in the Tennessee sun.
And I ended up having to do like an intense chemical peel on my face to get rid of all the sun spots. And it was like, We didn't have to, but like, I was like, my face was it. Wasn't great. It was a bad situation. Okay. I get why you feel so strongly about it then? That's fine. All right, I'm going to go. I'm going to go pick out my next fierce product.
Yeah, that in the cart. Okay. Well, listen, I think that's enough of our changed minds for now, but thank you everybody for less than if you have any of your own to share whether they are silly or serious, we want to hear them. So come over to our Instagrams. Um, at malware guns, Gabby is at what are you at?
Lou Allen and gabLou LOL, or you can email us at the makinganeffortpodcast@gmail.com and, uh, yeah, if you send us in your thoughts, we will maybe read it on the next podcast. Yay. All right. Thanks for listening everybody. We'll see you soon. Bye.
