Episode 15: Social Media Boundaries… Or Not?

Today we responded to a DM about what our social media boundaries or if we had any. You don’t really need to be an influencer or have a big social media presence for this topic to be relevant. We all— especially after 2020 when it became a big part of our socialisation— spend lots of time on social media and so hopefully you all find this conversation interesting if not encouraging to hear that we don’t have a ton of hard boundaries around this topic!

Pretty much the only thing we reference in this episode is a podcast called Under the Influence which is a journalist’s attempt to show the behind the scenes of an influencer’s life and career. Jo Piazza who hosts the podcast is definitely NOT everyone’s cup of tea, however if nothing else she brings up quite a few interesting topics regarding our social media usage so if you’re interested in this topic we suggest you give it a listen.

Other than that the other big area of discussion is how we use social media when it comes to sharing about our kids. We know this is a nuanced and delicate topic, so if you have thoughts about this that you’d like to share shoot us a DM or email. We’d love to hear your thoughts too!

Thanks for listening!

>>> Click here to read the computer generated transcript (note that the transcript isn't perfect)

Mel: Welcome to the Making An Effort Podcast, the podcast where you get to drop in on a conversation with two friends, discussing all the things they make an effort with and some of the things they don't. And this week on the podcast, we're going to have a chit chat about social media. Hi Gabby.

Gabby: Hi, Mel. How's it going?

Mel: So we're going to talk about social media this week. Yeah. How does that feel?

Gabby: Uh, I feel very under-qualified to talk about this specific angle when it comes to social media. Um, so basically we had someone write in or I had someone DM me and, uh, suggest that we talk about social media and boundaries and like how much time we spend on social media platforms and what our habits look like.

And I just thought that sounded like a very interesting topic. Um, however, I, I don't have a lot in terms of advice. Mel: Boundaries? What are boundaries?

Gabby: Well, I just thought it would be interesting because if you're, I mean, for me 20, 20, or not, I don't want to say orotic hated the notion around boundaries for me with social media, but blurred it definitely blurred them.

And, and definitely erased some of the lines.

Mel: Yeah, absolutely.

Gabby: Uh, and so I just thought I'd be fun to talk about. I don't know. Hmm.

Mel: Oh yeah. I thought, and I think there's a whole thing where you really like people. I think, I don't know. I think it's, for me, it's been such a like fluid thing of, I don't put the pressure on myself. Like I know, I know myself enough to know whenever I need to not look at Instagram. Like I need to get some stuff done or I need to just like relax and not, you know, or whatever. And I don't, I don't feel like social media. I mean, I'm on my phone a lot in the day. That is true. Yeah. A lot. You get those notifications or like a weekly report or something that like pops up and you're like go away judgment.

I don't want to know that I was average averaging six hours a day on my phone.

Gabby: That's what I average too.

Mel: I mean, it's probably more seven, to be honest.

Gabby: It oscillates between like 5:45 and 7, but in our defense. And this is part of why I think this makes it a very interesting topic is we do so much.

Well. I mean, and everyone increasingly we do so much work on our phones. And so that is for me, the, my relationship with social media, especially as a brand manager and all the different things that I do online, my relationship with social media and the boundaries within look less like time restraints and more like internal boundaries.

If that makes.

Mel: What do you mean? Say a bit more about what you mean? Gabby: Like, so. Like, if I were to just look at my overall time spent on social media, I would probably get really depressed because I have all these different clients that I've worked, that I work for. Um, on top of just, I mean, don't get me wrong.

I definitely do my fair share of mindless scrolling. Um, so it's not like I'm above that. However, It's not all just that, like, sometimes I'm, I'm working sometimes I'm uploading stuff. And so I, I spend like a good amount of time on social media throughout the day. Uh, yeah, I guess I don't have any much more to say about that, but what I do have boundaries around isn't so much time, uh, but like, Rules of engagement for myself.

So kind of like what I am willing to share on social media and what I should share on social media and what my attitude is towards it. In general, for example, on my personal account, I definitely have like dabbled in the. Influencer world. And we talked about that a little bit on that. We did it, we did a previous episode about influencers.

Um, however, I've kind of like, as I started my job in social media, uh, and social media management, I kind of like realized that I didn't want my, my personal account to feel like work ever. Uh, and so. I don't do anything on my social media. That feels like a job. So that kind of, that can be anything from like, I try to not treat myself so much as a brand.

And I tell myself as, as I'm like, you're not a brand, you're a person like when I'm thinking about. Uh, if I want to share something or if I want to talk about something, I'm like, well, are you being, are you thinking like a brand or are you thinking like a person right now? And sometimes I'm just like, Oh no, I'm a person.

And I, this is my platform and this is my space. And if I want to talk about. This I can, if it's going to bring me joy. Um, so that's kinda what I mean by boundaries. They're more about like, they're more internal, how I view it, how I engage with it, how I use it. Um, because I do use it for work so much that my own account has become kind of a place that I go to just.

Play like unwind and not promote something. Although I do like, like I'll share stuff. Like when we, when we post a podcast episode or, you know, I'm trying to think like storied, but still for me, those don't really feel like work. They feel like personal projects that are very life-giving and so. It doesn't feel like promotion as much as it just is like...

Mel: There's no real strategizing a marketing plan on your social media for it. Yeah. Whereas, whereas I definitely feel like I'm in between on that. Like, I definitely feel like my Instagram is, I guess what I'm referring to because it's the only real social, social media that I use. But, um, I reckon that I feel like my Instagram is.

Kind of like has to be a bit of that as well. So is kind of like the shop front for assembly and my, on my business, you know? Um, but it's also mixed in with here. Here I am as a human being with, you know, reactions to. The first episode of the Handmaid's tale and what I'm eating tonight for tea and this cute thing that my kid does or whatever, like, um, which I, which I feel like is, is, is all of me.

Yeah. It's all of me that I want. I want people to say, yeah, it's all of the different parts of me. It's not the depth of those parts, but it's, it is, it is representative of my work, my family, my life, but yeah, you don't, you don't get to see the whole bit on there. Gabby: I think that's a good way of describing that.

Do have you ever had, like, have you ever tried to implement like kind of, I'm sure this person was talking about boundaries in terms of like time spent and practices, have you ever had practices regarding your social media? No.

Mel: I know that it's really, I don't know a thing to like, take Sundays off and, or like put like, turn your phone off for a day during the week, or just like, I don't know, do, do something on a regular consistent basis. I'm not against that. I just haven't done it. And, um, and I don't, I also feel a little bit of resistance to it for, because I don't actually feel like it's a massive problem. Like yeah. But that's, that's just me. I think I spend a lot of time doing other things that I could probably do less of. Sure to be back to be more present.

Gabby: Um, but yeah, yeah, no, that makes sense. I, I think that, um, I tried for a while to take weekends off and again, it was just, the lines were so blurred because I had so many clients who were releasing things on the weekends and then I was on it anyway. And so I was just like, Well, this isn't fun. Like, I don't feel like I'm actually getting a break from this space. I feel like what I've done is like take the, the part that feels joyful for me out and I've made it worse.

Mel: yeah. Does that make sense?

Gabby: Um, and then.

Mel: And also, I suppose, especially at the minute there's some connection and some escapism or some like genuine learning, like a lot of what I've learned about like, uh, racism has come from Instagram and the voices on there and the peop the experts on there and the women of color on there that educate like I, yeah.

I mean, I'm not saying that's, that's all I ever do is. Educate myself on systemic issues. But, um, but I'm not that noble, but I, but I'm saying that there's there's value to be fined. I'm not just like working my way through each Kardashians, you know, Instagram account.

Gabby: Oh, I totally am going through each. Kardashians.

Mel: Sometimes I'll like, go in and have a look because I don't follow them. And then I'll let go on like certain pictures. And I'll say that you've liked something.

Gabby: I like, I like them all. I know you do. You're such a fan forever. Mel: You're so down for the Kardashians. Oh, that's so funny. It's one of my favorite things, but you hear like those little quirky things that you like.

Gabby: But this is what I'm saying is like, I feel like sometimes you can make the assumption about people cause they curate an image about who they are. And not even saying that that's a negative thing. I think maybe it's just my Enneagram. Foreignness is like, I will not be put in a box. I will care about deep issues and also like religiously watch the Kardashians.

And also buy their products and also enjoy recipes online and also read about racism and news and whatever I need to know anyway. Yeah. Yes. Yeah.

Mel: You can, you can dabble in all of those things if you want to as all good. Um, but yeah, I think it's until when that line between, um, the intentionality of things.

And also I think that I feel like you have, uh, Taught me to be a little bit more playful and less serious with Instagram. Like, I really liked that you just, yeah, you, you seem to be more carefree with it. Whereas I tend to overthink everything and you know, a couple of weeks go by and I haven't posted anything and I'm just like, Oh, I feel like I should post something.

Um, and that's stupid. That's such a, such a. Yeah, kind of weird thing to think that you should be doing something like that. But, um, I also just really like nice pictures and I like them to look nice and I like photography. And so, um, yeah, so I, that overthink and bleeds into that sometimes as well. Um, and also at the minute, it's just.

Hard to find nice pictures.

Gabby: Yeah. Oh my goodness. I know. It's like I'm looking same sink full of dishes every day.

Mel: Should I take another picture of myself in sweatpants? Should I? Gabby: Oh, Oh my goodness. I have an account just for pictures of my hand, holding a mug like that is my number photo that I post. And you know what you go.

If you went back to like 2000 listen, 11 or 12, when I started Instagram, I bet you that my first photo was some kind of mug holdings situation. And I'm not going to stop anytime soon. Mel: No, same, I want you to see my mug. I love mugs.

Gabby: Yeah. I want you to know that I am drinking coffee because it's part of my brand, but I don't, I claim I don't have.

Mel: That's interesting though, that you, when you claim that you don't have of a brand, but actually I think there are certain associations that people would put with, well, most people who have a significant presence on social media.

Right. Like, there's some significant things that are curated to be notorious with. Yeah?

Gabby: No. I was just going to say, I think the thing that I resist, because here's the thing we use the word curated and brand the word curated and brand like they're these evil things. I don't think that they are. I think it's just what happens when you engage on social media, whether you intentionally try to curate or not, you are because there's no way that everyone can see everything that's happening in your life.

It's just. It's just what's happening. You're not evil for doing it. You're not evil for posting one photo. And so it's it. Yeah. Anyway, get rid of the, the moral baggage associated with those words, but then when you go from there, I think a lot of times, you know, cause I, I mean, I, I educate myself about social media because it's part of my job and social media usage and how to, uh, Use certain voices and what voices are effective and what practices are best, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, all that stuff.

Um, and usually what people will tell you is like pick a lane, like whatever you're going to say. If you want to be effective on social media, pick your thing and just talk about that. Be the place that people come. To online to hear more about a certain thing. And for a while it was like, I mean, and it is it's effective.

It's very effective. I think of people who I follow for certain educational resources or just because I like certain, you know, things that they've curated online, whatever. If they ever veer off of that, I have definitely been known to hit the unfollow button if there's like too much of what I'm not there for.

If that makes sense. Um, Whatever that may look like. But so that's kind of what I mean by, I feel like for me about Andree is with my own personal account is not doing that because I spend so much time and so much Headspace for like my clients thinking in that world, because it is a very effective strategy that for myself.

I'm just like, no, if people want to unfollow me, cause I posted a picture of my salad. I literally don't care. I'm posting a picture of my salad because it's fun for me. And that's kind of what I mean about boundaries, where it's like, it's not, I'm not here to like gain followers or whatever. Um, I'm just here to have fun.

And so that's kind of how I approach it. In terms of curating feed, but like I understand within that you then just by default, end up with a brand, whether you like it or not. And that there's no, there's nothing you can do about that.

Mel: Like maybe brand feels like such a, it feels like such a professional word or something.

Maybe it's more like you, you, you have a fail or you end up with like, if, have like an expectation of what people come to know. I bite you and expect from you, I suppose. Yeah,

Gabby: I suppose. So I do take, and this isn't intentional, but the last three years, I want to say I have accidentally taken a break from social media, like an extended one.

Probably like a month, two months, um, around the same time every year, which I don't know what that is. I was thinking about that before I came on here. Cause I know that it's something that I've done for the last three years. It's usually like around August, more like late July into early September. I'm like I'm out.

And I know this because. I have so few cause my birthday is in August and I have so few birthday posts ever on my feed. Um, and yeah, it's, it's kind of weird. I don't know what it is about that time of year, where my brain is like, I'm done, I need a break from this space. And it usually is just like, I will log on really briefly to do whatever work I have to do.

And then just like I exit out immediately and I usually give my. Login details to my sister or my husband. And like, I'll have them change it for a month or like last year, I didn't even have to do that. Cause it wasn't even a temptation to go on social media. I think I was just so burnt out from all of the loudness online. Like there was just so much, I don't know, like...

Mel: It was a big year for lots of things.

Gabby: Politics and conspiracy theories and just the whole gamut of just, I don't know, it was a lot. And I remember just being like, I am done. I, this place is not fun for me anymore. It's not life-giving I'm out of here. Yeah. And so I took like a good month and a half off, but it wasn't ever, like, I must do this because this is healthy practices.

It's just kind of a reaction listening. Yeah. Reactionary for sure. Mel: I think it's really interesting as well. Just like observing how other people use things and do things. And like I get, I get really, I get worried about people. Even though, Gabby: what do you mean?

Mel: Even though I don't, even though I don't necessarily have like spoken or set boundaries myself.

I, I feel that's that's because I have a real, like, cautious awareness of what I do and don't want to put on there, but I feel like, you know, there's some people that I observe that just do not have that. Or same to have that. And, you know, I kind of toe that line between being really judgmental of what they should have, how much they share and just being really worried about how much they share.

Um, yeah. You know, and like, I just feel like some people have dedicated their social media to almost like. Relate-ability and oversharing as their brand. Gabby: Yes. Yes.

Mel: And, and I'm like, Ooh, I mean, some of that is entertaining. Some of that is interesting. I, you know, I'm here for small doses of an overshare, you know, I love an overshare, but almost like that become your.

What you're known for just feels really, I feel nervous about it for, for some people that it might be.

Gabby: Oh, I don't know.

Mel: Like, I guess I'm thinking about like, what do you, what is it that you're, you're Naden? That means that you're doing that. It's like, what are you, what is it that you really need? Are you, what kind of connection are you after?

Um, what kind of validation are you after? And are you sure that you're going to get that back?

Gabby: Yeah. Yeah. I don't follow a ton of people who are like, unfiltered like that. Um, but I know what you mean where you like. Yeah. I start to like kind of worry for, for them and, yeah, I don't know. It's such an interesting one because...

Mel: It's like, I'm such a hot mess. Look at me, I'm such a hot mess. Oh, I'm so I'm such a disaster. Like, I don't know. There's just something about it that I'm like, But is that what you want your identity to be really? Or is that just what, you know, shocks people or gets people talking? I don't know. I'm really suspicious about intentions often, I think on social media.

Gabby: I mean, I just view it as like a reaction to the very. Overly curated feed, like the feeds where it's like perfection. Yeah. And I see it as people just reacting against that where it's, they're just, they've just had enough, you know, and I, I guess I get that on some level. Um, I just think what maybe they perhaps miss within that is that it's what we were saying before.

Everything is curated and it's not. It doesn't make it evil. It just means that you literally can't see everyone's entire life. It just means that you've picked a different thing to share. You know what I mean? Um, I was going to say, so if you're interested in this conversation at all, You should definitely listen to the, under the influence podcast by Jo Piazza.

Yeah. So I forget how you say her last name, but it is fascinating. And it goes into the world of mommy bloggers, I guess I'll say this, like, um, I love how honest she is. She's a journalist. She used to be a celebrity gossip. Columnist turned online, writer turned well in this, this podcast. She attempts to be a mommy blogger, um, before kind of deciding that maybe it's not quite for her.

And I promise that that's not a spoiler. Uh, But it is very fascinating if you've ever wondered what it's like to earn an income from paid promotions. Uh, it's a very fascinating, fascinating podcast, but one of the episodes that was very rattling for me. As someone who like, I, yeah, I don't do a ton of the paid promotion stuff, but I do share quite a bit of my life.

And I've always been that way. I've always had like a picture in journal, like ever since the beginning of like blogging online. So it feels very authentic to who I am. However, there is always the risk of oversharing, uh, but she taught, she has one whole episode about. Sharing about your kids' life on social media.

And that has been something in the last, so I guess I've been a mom for three years now in the last three years that I have become more and more conscious of. And I know that it's every parent's decision is their own decision within their family unit. Like people create those boundaries themselves. Um, but she taught, she kind of interviews some of these kids who grew up.

Cause like, I guess in the beginning of the mommy blogger, like the OG mommy bloggers from like 2000 to 2004, where they, these women have like, shared everything about their kids' lives the day in the day out and how that traumatized them. A lot of them are on Tik TOK. Now speaking out about how that was damaging for them and, Oh, they don't have any like, full, like, real sense of their own identity. Mel: And I think that way about each like kids, you tubers, like my kids watch a lot of those, like family, you tubers, you know, like there's different felonies from like mostly in the States. Um, or there's a one I think in Australia that they watch, um, and just. Like, I mean, these, these families are making a clean fortune. Gabby: Oh yeah. So much money.

Mel: So much money! Um, but these kids as well, like the amount of content that they must have to perform and produce. Each week. I just don't. I mean, I struggle between like going, okay, well, this is kind of a whole new world and maybe I'm just like, It's because it didn't exist when I was a kid that I find it so wild.

Yeah. And maybe I just need to kind of loosen my judgment and enter into what it is. Or I kind of ask Elliot between that and going like, Whoa, I feel so sad for these kids. So this is like, so a lot of this stuff looks so fun. You know, they do these pranks and these challenges and they go on these trips and they all the rest of it. But. Yeah, I find it uncomfortable.

Gabby: Well, I think that's the thing is like that's the discussion, right? Is it's all kind of a big experiment at this point because social media hasn't been around long enough for us to be able to say, this is what happens when you share every year. Nook and cranny of your family's lives.

He, we, we do have, I mean, and obviously there are tons of kids who don't have the same trauma because, you know, they're different people, their families might have handled it differently. There's an, you know, a whole host of reasons. However, getting back to like our own social media practices and our own boundaries, that is one that I feel like I'm kind of cultivating as I go.

Um, and. I think Chris and I talk about all the time, how we just want to never. Post anything about Danny that we don't feel like is flattering to him. Like I would say that's the only part of my life that I on social media that I actually curate, or like, think very consciously about, of if I'm posting a photo of him.

I w I'm going to post a cute one. I'm going to post one that isn't like, exposing like, Oh look, he like pooped all over for the car or, you know, like in anyway. And I'm not saying that it's what everyone needs to do. Of course.

Mel: I'm saying that don't do that to your kids. Don't don't shame your kids online for the world to say, please, that's going to hurt them.

Don't do it. Yeah, I'm saying, yeah.

Gabby: Yeah, I'm good. I'm proud of you. I. But yeah, that, I guess that's the one area that I do think I am forming more and more firm boundaries around and what I want that to look like. And at the end of the day, You know, I, I don't, I don't have the financial incentive to post about my child because, you know, even in the, that podcast, under the influence, she talks a lot about how she's like, I get it though.

Cause you, cause the reason why mommy bloggers are so popular is because like kids. Like kid content is the most marketable. Like people love pictures of people's babies, of their kids, of their families. And so it is so easy to make a clean fortune off of your kids, essentially. Um, And a lot of them like put it into, you know, providing for them or a savings accounts or whatever.

I mean, we don't get to see that, how they spend that money necessarily. But I think for me, because I don't monitor it, like there's no part of my account that I have chosen to really monetize, except for like the, the OD partnership here and there. And I've never done a partnership. That features, Danny, I guess I don't have that temptation as much to be like, but I could make $6,000 if I posted this picture of Danny.

So I do feel like the pressures are off a little bit from that perspective, but I, uh, it's such, such murky waters.

Mel: It is. Um, yeah, I find it like, I've definitely made some changes in the last few years. Believe I and EDA both. No, I have. Full autonomy to say if, uh, if it's okay or not for me to post this, you know, like I will ask them when he was a baby.

It wasn't the case because obviously she couldn't tell me. Um, so I just kind of had to make a call and also just, um, she was super cute and babies are cute and yeah. Um, she, she featured pretty heavily in the baby years, but since like, I'm just not as. Yeah, they D they get full permission with FF. I'm going to post about them or talk about them.

Um, most of the time Levi says no, because he is almost tan and, um, Easily embarrassed, which is absolutely fine. Um, and most of the time, Anna who's five will say yes,

Gabby: I love her. They're both so great. But no, I think that's something. Cause I feel like we've had this conversation before. I remember it when I think we had it a couple of years ago where it was like, what do you do about that?

Like, do you post about your kids? Do you not? And um, I remember you sharing that with me. And I thought that was really healthy and a really good, I don't know, just benchmark, even for me. It was. Yeah. Yeah. So I think that's great.

Mel: I just think, you know, that whole thing about like, yeah, it's relatable to like, you know, tell people that your kids are having a melt dine, and you know, like what they did, this is, has been a shit day or whatever.

Um, But like it doesn't honor your child really to kind of put their screaming sad face on a, on a screen for other people to like, be like, Oh, and I actually remember, um, yeah, I remember this big came out. Um, Reasons my kid is crying. Do you ever remember that account? Gabby: I remember that account! So much.

Mel: Yeah. So, I mean, it's really funny.

It's really, really funny because there are a lot of like really relatable things in there, but I think somebody bought it for me for a laugh one time, the actual book, because the Instagram account or the, whatever it was, Facebook account turned it into a book and. It is relatable and it is funny, but also those are little people. Like those are little human bands who are going to grow up into adults. And I don't know, there's just something about kids crying and having Phalen's and band side that. I just think it shouldn't be up for commodification. And, um, yeah, I feel strongly about that, but I absolutely, if, if ed and I are twinning in an outfit, Um, for sure.

Taking a picture, um, she will for sure say that she wants that to that picture to me, posted thing. Um, so yeah, I mean, there are some things that are blurred lines, uh, but there are other things for me like that, like that feels like, uh, a strong one that I've come to feel strong, ger avoid. Um, yeah. So. Also, I thought it might be fun to talk about things that you see online that really annoy you on social media.

Gabby: Okay. Why don't you go first? Because I feel like you've got an idea.

Mel: So there's one thing that I cannot handle. And if I see it. It just really bothers me is when and it's really specific and really stupid!

Gabby: All right.

Mel: Okay. Is if people do like either an Instagram story or a boomerang of them cutting into the yolk of an egg, I can't have it, like a poached egg, that's gross. Don't do it.

Gabby: Oh my gosh. I almost okay. There's a chef that I follow online who posted a little video, like a 20 second clip of her, like cutting into the yoke of a Friday. And I almost sent it to you for some reason.

Mel: I'm glad you didn't, it's more maybe a Friday, cause it's different, but there's still a poached egg, but, and people cutting into it.

And it all just kinda like that is that really annoys me.

Gabby: I get that though. It's like, it is kind of gross. A little bit. I kind of like the all in it, but it just, I know, Oh, I get, I feel like I get that. I don't have the same like reaction, but I understand it.

Mel: Or, but if you know, you know, that also bothers me a little bit.

I'm like really a little bit, if you know, you know, Um, does it trigger a feeling? What if, I don't know if I actually don't know and I feel like now I have to go and look it up and do a bit of research to find like you're a waste of my time.

Gabby: Oh my goodness.

Mel: Or it is a little bit like, maybe it's just that tone of cliquiness.

Yeah. Hm.

Gabby: Yeah. You're yeah. Um, let's see. Gosh, I'm sure I have stuff. I don't know why I'm blanking on it. I don't find it.

Mel: I don't find it annoying, but I find it a wee bit stressful when those things go round about like tag or. Here's what I'm up to. Why are you doing? And then like you get tagged in those things too, like, Oh, I don't know what to do.

Gabby: Oh, no one ever tags me in those. So I never do that.

This is not your invitation tag. Tiger. Tiger tag those things. Well. Um, okay. What else? What about me? I, okay. I might need to think about this. I don't know. I, I feel like I should have them just ready to go.

Mel: So you don't feel like there's anything that comes to mind. You're just so unoffended.

Gabby: I feel like...

Mel: I don't find it offensive by the way. I'm not offended by anyone breaking the yoke of their, of their poached egg.

Gabby: It's just, I suppose in general, like usually if I have a negative reaction to something or some, if someone posts something that I frequently have a negative reaction to, I just unfollow them. Like, I'm that person!

Mel: Do you?

Gabby: So I, well, yeah, because, like I said...

Mel: You don't go for like a mute first, like just a mute.

Gabby: I mean, if it's someone I have a personal relationship with, and I don't want to like ruffle the feathers of that relationship, but I also don't want to, like, hear a specific narrative over and over again. Like I will, for a time mute someone. Um, but I don't have like a ton of, I wouldn't say that like I have like a list of muted people in my life.

Um, I guess I just, I don't tend to follow... like people, and this is maybe getting a little bit deeper people who are like their whole feed is like, whatever the topic is, but their whole feed is just like resisting, like an overly negative voice, or like, I am, you know, I'm resisting this or resisting that, or, you know, like I just.

That, that kind of negative presence really gives me anxiety and it's not that I don't think they sometimes don't have useful things to say, but usually what I'll do is like I'll visit their page. If I like, if I need to like, learn more about a certain subject.

Mel: I think I know what you make sense.

I know what you mean. Like it's, it's quite a heavy. Kind of presence.

Gabby: Yeah. And I'm yeah. And it could be like any topic. It could be like relationships or like even like body image stuff. It's like, I'm all about positive slash neutral body image, but sometimes they feel like some of those spaces can get like overly reactive from, for my tastes.

And sometimes I'm just like, I just don't need to. I just don't need to be in that head space with you all the time. Yeah. Yeah.

Mel: And also the risk with Instagram is that you don't know what's coming up D you don't get, you don't get to choose what comes up onto your screen, which is as itself, a really interesting concept.

Right? There's very little choice that we have. I mean, we have the choice about who we follow and that determines that, but then. You know, what is shown to us is also, um, it's a surprise. And so, you know, that can really like, can really, um, yeah. I can do stuff to how we feel it can impact how we feel for sure.

Yeah. Um, yeah, it's a good combo. It is a good confidence. I, um, I have it a lot in the work that I do. Um, And, you know, I just, I just think it's, it's really hard to be, to be yourself online. And because when you stick a camera on your self, it's really hard to just be chill and not overthink that. And B not be yourself.

Um, but I reckon that, you know, if you're, if you're being this. Open and honest there, or as you would to someone that like you met in real life then? Yeah. That's probably a good benchmark.

Gabby: Yeah, I think, yeah. As long as you're, you know, you're happy and you're not betraying your peace, then that's a, probably a good place to start.

That's where I start anyway.

Mel: So yeah. And that's, you know, it, it doesn't have to be, it doesn't have to be the be-all and end-all of all things.

Gabby: Absolutely not.

Mel: Um, yeah, so I think we're, I think we're good. I think we've we've yeah. We've touched on some of the aspects that I, I think I. Find the most interesting about this.

Um, but we'd love to hear from you guys as always. I'd love to hear your thoughts on social media. You can DM us obviously on Instagram or feel free to email us. We love hearing from you on email, um, at. makinganeffortpodcast@gmail.com. Um, yeah. And if you have any stories or thoughts, feel free to leave us a voice note and send it in via email and you can find all the directions on how to do the voice note thing on our website, which is making an effort podcast.com.

And we will see you back here next week. Bye.